I’ve kind of neglected this blog for days simply because, I have no mood to post stories or whatever. I admit, I’ve been through a lot of down moments enough to make me give up life. Don’t laugh and don’t take it as a joke. I am serious. I know these things coming up with me are life challenges and I trust him, but I don’t know. These things came in “bulk” instead of one-by-one. So imagine me, alone, fighting with 300 spartans (god I seriously should stop watching that movie). I guess I have to deal with all of these shits. Blah.

I’ve posted a lot of Vent threads at Kville. At this point, you’ll ask me, “What the heck Yvette? You have a blog why not post it here?” To be quite honest, I never even thought of publishing those thoughts at this place. I don’t know why. But that’s true and that’s how I feel.

I won’t be writing the same things over and over. So I’ll just post this part in the thread I made:

The boyfriend thing
Yesterday, he went here because its been 1 month since I last saw him. So yea, I miss him. I looked at “his” phone and read the text messages and saw a folder with msgs from a “girl” which is definitely, NOT me.

Then looked at his gallery, saw pictures from that very same girl. Almost all of the pictures of the girl. Darn. I returned the phone to him and refused to talk to him for a minute or two. I’m speechless. “I want an explanation so don’t make me think the wrong thing”. What he said is they’re just friends. God. Stab me, please.

Later that evening, I sent a text message and he sent me 2 weird messages that can be sum up as “please trust me“. I’m still mad at him, I admit. We were talking the whole evening until 5 in the morning asking him an explanation. Then come up with, “this is phone is hers that’s why the gallery is full of her pictures”. WTF. He’s been using that phone for a long time and yet you’re telling me that’s not yours?! Strike 1 for you. You didn’t tell me before.

Now, 2 in the afternoon (in our country), I haven’t received any text messages from him. This may sound weird but, I don’t want to talk to him anymore. His existence irks the shit out of me, that’s what I currently feel. I’m not waiting for his text messages. I just want to forget him. But what the heck, I don’t want to break-up with him. Cos seriously, it’ll be hard for me. Especially because we’ve been together for a long time. So what will I do? I’m clueless.

That thread was officially made on Saturday. The day after carlo went here.

At this point, I’m still not feeling well. Even if we already managed to fix this thing up yesterday afternoon. Maybe because what he done made me like this. I can actually say that this is, indeed, the lowest point of my life. I never thought of this thing happening in our relationship. I thouht we’re bound to just have these jolly moments and mushy and sweet but no. You know what? Of what happened, it made me realize that not all relationships are of happiness. Sometimes, you have to deal with these things. Like what others said:

These kinds of challenges will make your relationship more strong.

Yea maybe. But what if the two parties involved, err, or just one, is weak? How can that be?

Even if I wrote this, it still don’t made me feeling “alright”. I need to stop thinking about it, but how? Clueless.

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